At some point over the last few days I realised that my habit of buying any vegan pigs in blankets I see in the wild has lead to a problem. Namely that I have way too many pigs in blankets to eat on Christmas Day. So why not have a festive Christmas Eve buffet of nothing but pigs in blankets and also draw up a score board to justify this gluttony.

The rules of this contest are as follows. We had three brands of pigs: Plant Kitchen from M&S, Plant Menu from Aldi, and This Isn’t that we got from Tesco. Kate and I had two each to sample and then we had to come up with a score out of five, which would be added together to make a score out of ten. Though actually that ended up being pointless, we gave everything the exact same score as each other. We’ve probably been together too long.

The This Isn’t Pork offering looked pleasingly rustic and cooked in the shortest time. We both thought it had the best bacon but the whole thing was let down by the sausage. The sausage is herby and overpowering. It’s not what you want from the piggie in your blanket. We gave this a 4 out of 10.

Plant Kitchen is next. These took the longest to cook, and were messy to get out of the packet. The sausage is a more mushroom-based offering. It has a casing which makes it the more realistic of today’s sausage. It overpowered the bacon though and was a little too greasy. We like these ones and gave them a 6 out of 10.

Our favourites are these Plant Menu piggies. They’re more of a balanced taste and not as greasy. They do look weirdly artificial but you can’t argue with the taste. 8 out of 10.